When I was younger—meaning my early 20s—I assumed that by 40 I would have it all figured out.

I feel like my generation, the millennials, grew up with the expectation that we had to have our lives together by 40. In our 20s, we were expected to go to college, get a job, get married, buy a house, and have kids. All before turning 30.

Then things slowly began to shift. People started to wait. Wait to get married. Wait to have kids. They changed their minds about careers. Life started to look different for us than it had for our parents’ and grandparents’ generations. We had more choices. More freedom.

Now I see people having their first baby at 40. People waiting until later to get married, if they get married at all. Jobs and careers don’t look like they did even a decade ago.

I’ll be honest—I dreaded turning 30.

I was unhappy with my life. I was a single mom and felt like I had made every mistake possible. I worried that I would never have the life I really wanted.

And guess what?

I was wrong.

On my 30th birthday, I got a message from a guy I had secretly been hoping would reach out and wish me a happy birthday. A year later, I married him.

Now I’m celebrating my 40th birthday with him by my side. We’ve been married for nine years. We bought a beautiful home, we have our son and daughter, and I couldn’t be happier with the life we’ve built together.

It’s amazing how much can change in a decade.

I wasn’t afraid of turning 40. Instead, I’m excited to see who I become over the next 10 years.

I’ve also realized that age is just a number. It doesn’t mean you have to have it all figured out.

At 40, I’m still setting new goals, chasing new ideas, and learning things about myself I never knew before.

You can continue to evolve, change your mind, and grow. You don’t have to fit into what others believe you should be. You get to decide that for yourself.

You get to figure it out as you go.

And maybe that’s what life is all about